Official List of CRAYONS of the WORLD

Official LIST of CRAYONS of the World
as of July 16, 2012

RED....Wendle Beaton (Dub`ya)
BLACK.....Jacquie Carew (Jax)
YELLOW....Julie Ireland (Jewelz)
GOLD...Courtney Wallis Simpson (KaChing)
SUN....Judy Jinkinson Huxhold (Juxti)
AMETHYST....Susan Frampton
ANTIQUE BRASS....Ronan Schneiderovitch
AQUAMARINE.....Dale Day
AQUAROMA....Mary Pacitto
ATOMIC TANGERINE....Donna McMahon Hill
AZTEC GOLD...Sandeep Togarathi
AZURE....Carolyn Allen Dubois Kustec
AZURE BLUE....Dina Cox
BLACK SATIN....Nancy Bain
BLAZING BLUE.....Susan Spidle
BODACIOUS BLUE....Kerri Townsend Kelley
BRONZE....Susan Johnston
BROWN...Gurj Johal
BURGUNDY.....Karen Lowery
CAMMOFLAGE.......Manny Tesoro
CANDY APPLE RED.....Laura Bielak Avolese
CERISE-CHERRY RED....Heather Johannessen Belanger
CERULEAN....Adriana Vidal
COBALT....Cyndi Kleiwer Moyer
COPPER....J.D. Reed
COSMIC COBALT....Dianna Kusakovic
COTTON CANDY PINK....Stacey Betz
CORAL SKY......Lisa Page
COURAGEUS CORAL......Monica Francis
CREAM....Sandy Hines
CRIMSON....Caro Dorian
DEEP TRANCE GOLD.....Shirley Butler
DENIM......Lorraine Humphrey
EBONY...Christine Sylvestre
ECLECTIC BLUE.....Twyla Morningstar
FIRE ENGINE RED......Ian Giffen
FIREY ROSE... Jeni Montgomery Hoover
FUCSHIA...Simone
GRAPE....Cherie Bazilsky Carriere
GREEN AQUAMARINE....Esmeralda Ruiz
GREEN...Tracey Green
GREEN DEPTH.....Anne Bizier
GUMBY GREEN WITH A HUE OF BLUE GOO...Brenda Baggs Wideman
HOT PINK....Connie Nicastro Hetherington
HOT MAGENTA...Susan Miller (Princess/Butterfly)
HOT TAMALE RED.....Mary Skrijelj
INDIAN RED....Irene Anastasakis
INDIGO....Christine Bizier
INDIGO NIGHTS....Mauela Berrien
JUNGLE GREEN....Suzana Correa
LIGHT BLUE…Tracey McFarlane McDonald
LILAC…Tasha “Fruit Loop” Blake
MAC & CHEESE...Charmaine Lintner
MAGENTA....Gia LoPatriello
MAUVELOUS.....Carrie Mels
MESMERIC MAGENTA....Carol Pamenter Morton
MOONSHINE....Samantha Gjuran
OCEAN BLUE....Kathy Freeman
OCEAN TEAL....Erin Bartley Paterson
ORANGE...Nikki Bloomfeild
OUTER SPACE....Jieye Yang
PANDEMONIUM PURPLE.....Renae Hayes
PASSIONATE PURPLE....Danielle Holt
PEACH…JoEllen Pollard
PEACH ROSE.....Lorie Ack
PERIWINKLE....Martha Cassotta
PURPINKLE.....Suz Furey
PHANTASMAGORIA....Bob Wright
PINK...Laurie GUGI...
PINK CHAMPAGNE....Michelle De Laere Burtt
PRETTY IN PINK...Nancy Cressey Hyson
PLATINUM....Rina Vas
PROSTITUE RED....Tara Monaco
PURPLE PIZAZZ…Litsa Lazaris
PURPLE....Tammy Bruce
PURPLE LILAC....Todd Osbourne
PURPLE LIME GREEN.....Charlene Bateman
PURPLE-LISCIOUS...Val Kustec
PURPLE SAGE......Dena Elliott
RASPBERRY BERET....Carol Bauza

RAZZLE DAZZLE ROSE.... Teena OBoyle Francis

RAZZMATAZZ....Vi Spencer

RED HOT CHILI....Diane Marie Cook
RED PEONY....Nancy Poulton
REVERE GRAY.....Pam Byer
ROYAL BLUE....Carolyn Lelliott Bizier
SAGE…Jenny Genovezos
SAILBOAT BLUE....Susan Heikens
SAPPHIRE BLUE......Pilar Gil
SCARLETT....Kim Hughes
SILVER MOON GLOW....Rhonda Diane Bignall
SIZZLING SCARLETT...Catherine Wallace
SKY BLUE....Solongo Asen
SPARKLING CHAMPAGNE.....Ginny Pyke
SUNSET....Elma Finnbogadottir
SUNSHINE YELLOW.....Jennifer Robbins
TANGERINE TINGLE....Laurie Lynne Norton-Ringuette
TARTAN....Dave Howie
TEAL…Kristi Wright
TIGERS EYE....Hilary Metcalfe
TIMBERWOLF....Surina Hart
TURQUOISE......Joanne Williams
TURQUOISE BLUE.......Dianne Melendy
VELVET PLUM....Susie Holohan
VIBRANT ORANGE.....Sabiena Kalatzis
VIOLET....Tricia Hartman
VIVID VIOLET....Shanyn Burnett

WE COLOUR OUTSIDE THE LINES.......!
AND YES...WE ARE FABULOUS....deal with it!....

And she held the pen in her hand and bled 

out all the pain within her heart onto the page.

As the words began to flow, her soul weeped.

When she read it back.....

She finally exhaled.

~Wendy

50 Shades of CRAYON

We have been reading the 50 Shades of Grey as our book club selection and I must admit....the stories my RAINBOW of FABULOUS have to tell would make mister Grey blush.....

Here is an excerpt of one such story!


The WIFE!

She sat in her 4 bedroom stone fortress....the one her husband bought to keep up with the Jones's. Her fortress came with a granite kitchen and stainless steel appliances that she made her children's meals in. Her fortress housed her wardrobe of designer clothes and high priced shoes but she was still a prisoner. She was held captive by a husband who no longer noticed her. She was hostage to her children who demanded her energy with homework and birthday parties and recitals and PTA meetings.

On the outside she had the perfect life. Inside she was dying. Dying to be noticed. Dying to be desired. Dying to be treated like a woman. She filled her days with yoga and pilates and nail appointments. She desperately wanted him to see her. Really see her! But he didn't. He hadn't for years!

Today her neglect became unbearable and she did what she never thought she would do. She called HIM. She called the man who she had dated in her youth who was now divorced and made her know she was on his mind. He had been emailing her for months now. At first she was thrilled to hear from him. She was giddy with the attention. The subtle flirting had become more. It had turned to an illicit exchange of fantasies. He wanted her. He made no qualms about it. He was ready to pick up where things had left off years earlier. And he told her. She thought it was an innocent flirtation, something just in her fantasies that they shared through explicit text messages and email. She lived her secret life in those messages....but today something changed. She was ready to feel something REAL again. She wanted to be desired. She wanted HIM.

As she picked up the phone to dial his number, her heart raced. She was alone in her fortress. Her husband was at work. Her children were in school. She was alone. More than that, she was LONELY! This time she didnt want to text, she wanted to hear his voice.

With each ring her nerve was tested but she didn't hang up. She had thought about nothing else for days now. She had tried to talk to her husband. She had tried to seduce him. She was rejected over and over and the pain from that became unbearable. She needed to be needed and HE needed her....She needed HIM.

His voice was low and had a trace of rasp from the cigars he smoked.

"Hello baby, you finally called. I am so happy you did. How are you?"

Her voice wasn't as calm as she would have liked but she answered "I'm great hunny, how are things in corporate finance?" she could feel her breath getting caught in her chest. She could feel her cheeks starting to burn but she wasnt sure if it was desire or nervous embarrassment.

"I want to see you" he said "We have some catching up to do" and she could feel his wicked grin through the phone.

"I'd like that, very much" she stammered as she nervously twirled her hair with her index finger.

He made her feel like a girl again. Not the 40 something mother of two and not the non descript house frau she had felt like as of late.

"When are you free? When can I kiss you?" he asked in the sexiest voice she had heard in what seemed like forever.

"I am free tomorrow" the words rolled off her tongue before she realized she even said them.

"FANTASTIC! I will reschedule my day and I am all yours tomorrow. Can you meet me at the Double Tree? Ive been staying here until my new condo is ready." she could almost see the smile in his eyes as he spoke the words.

"Thats perfect. I will meet you there around noon!" she whispered

As she hung up the phone her whole body was electric. She had made the call. The call she had wanted to make for months but she was torn with guilt at wanting him. He was forbidden. What she was about to do was forbidden. Why did it feel so right?

Now the die had been cast....she was meeting him at his hotel. In less than 24 hours, she would find herself face to face with every fantasy she had created in her head. She was about to change things forever and she was ready!

STAY TUNED FOR THE EBOOK....THATS WHEN THINGS GET REALLY GOOD!

Official LIST of CRAYONS of the World
as of June 3, 2012

RED....Wendle Beaton (Dub`ya)
BLACK.....Jacquie Carew (Jax)
YELLOW....Julie Ireland (Jewelz)
GOLD...Courtney Wallis Simpson (KaChing)
SUN....Judy Jinkinson Huxhold (Juxti)
AMETHYST....Susan Frampton
ANTIQUE BRASS....Ronan Schneiderovitch
AQUAMARINE.....Dale Day
AQUAROMA....Mary Pacitto
ATOMIC TANGERINE....Donna McMahon Hill
AZTEC GOLD...Sandeep Togarathi
AZURE....Carolyn Allen Dubois Kustec
AZURE BLUE....Dina Cox
BLACK SATIN....Nancy Bain
BLAZING BLUE.....Susan Spidle
BODACIOUS BLUE....Kerri Townsend Kelley
BOOTYLICIOUS BLUE.....Pam Landahl
BRONZE....Susan Johnston
BROWN...Gurj Johal
BUD WHITE......Andy May
BURGUNDY.....Karen Lowery
CAMMOFLAGE.......Manny Tesoro
CANDY APPLE RED.....Laura Bielak Avolese
CERISE-CHERRY RED....Heather Johannessen Belanger
CERULEAN....Adriana Vidal
CHA CHING MANGO.....David Wagg
COBALT....Cyndi Kleiwer Moyer
COPPER....J.D. Reed
COSMIC COBALT....Dianna Kusakovic
COTTON CANDY PINK....Stacey Betz
CORAL SKY......Lisa Page
COURAGEUS CORAL......Monica Francis
CREAM....Sandy Hines
CRIMSON....Caro Dorian
DEEP PINK.....Alexandra Erodotou
DEEP TRANCE GOLD.....Shirley Butler
DENIM......Lorraine Humphrey
EBONY...Christine Sylvestre
ECLECTIC BLUE....Twyla Morningstar
ELECTRIC GREEN......Monica Govan
EMERALD...Samantha Newmarch
FIRE ENGINE RED......Ian Giffen
FIREY ROSE... Jeni Montgomery Hoover
FLIRTY MANGO....Megan Vordenbaum
FUCSHIA...Simone
GRAPE....Cherie Bazilsky Carriere
GREEN AQUAMARINE....Esmeralda Ruiz
GREEN...Tracey Green
GREEN DEPTH.....Anne Bizier
GUMBY GREEN WITH A HUE OF BLUE GOO...Brenda Baggs Wideman
HOT PINK....Connie Nicastro Hetherington
HOT MAGENTA...Susan Miller (Princess/Butterfly)
HOT TAMALE RED.....Mary Skrijelj
ICE ORANGE....Maureen Singleton
INDIAN RED....Irene Anastasakis
INDIGO....Christine Bizier
INDIGO NIGHTS....Mauela Berrien
JUNGLE GREEN....Suzana Correa
LAVENDER....Carol Brown Corazzola
LEMON YELLOW....Teresa Giasson
LIGHT BLUE…Tracey McFarlane McDonald
LILAC…Tasha “Fruit Loop” Blake
LUST RED....Kelly Barbeau Vervaeke
MAC & CHEESE...Charmaine Lintner
MAGENTA....Gia LoPatriello
MAUVELOUS.....Carrie Mels
MESMERIC MAGENTA....Carol Pamenter Morton
MOONSHINE....Samantha Gjuran
OCEAN BLUE....Kathy Freeman
OCEAN TEAL....Erin Bartley Paterson
OCEAN TURQUOISE......Suzanne Galley
ORANGE...Nikki Bloomfeild
ORANGE BLING.....Jackie Huxhold
OUTER SPACE....Jieye Yang
PANDEMONIUM PURPLE.....Renae Hayes
PASSIONATE PURPLE....Danielle Holt
PANDYLICIOUS RED......Pandy Kirwin Stoppert
PEACH…JoEllen Pollard
PEACHALICIOUS....Susan Sheepwash
PERIWINKLE....Martha Cassotta
PURPINKLE.....Suz Furey
PHANTASMAGORIA....Bob Wright
PINK...Laurie GUGI...
PINK CHAMPAGNE....Michelle De Laere Burtt
PRETTY IN PINK...Nancy Cressey Hyson
PLATINUM....Rina Vas
PROSTITUE RED....Tara Monaco
PURPLE PIZAZZ…Litsa Lazaris
PURPLE....Tammy Bruce
PURPLE HAZE.....Mel Sutherland
PURPLE LILAC....Todd Osbourne
PURPLE LIME GREEN.....Charlene Bateman
PURPLE-LISCIOUS...Val Kustec
PURPLE SAGE......Dena Elliott
RAINBOW BUTTERFLY.....Kim Daley
RASPBERRY BERET....Carol Bauza
RAZZLE DAZZLE ROSE...Teena OBoyle Francis
RAZZMATAZZ....Vi Spencer
RED HOT CHILI....Diane Marie Cook
RED ZINFANDEL.......Jody Winder
REVERE GRAY.....Pam Byer
ROYAL BLUE....Carolyn Lelliott Bizier
SAGE…Jenny Genovezos
SAILBOAT BLUE....Susan Heikens
SAPPHIRE BLUE......Pilar Gil
SAPPHIRE PURPLE....Nikki Vande Voorde
SCARLETT....Kim Hughes
SILVER MOON GLOW....Rhonda Diane Bignall
SILVER STAR.....Teri Redenbaugh
SIZZLING SCARLETT...Catherine Wallace
SKY BLUE....Solongo Asen
SPARKLING CHAMPAGNE.....Ginny Pyke
SUNBURST ORANGE....TJ Reeves
SUNGLOW.....Tricia Staver
SUNSET....Elma Finnbogadottir
SURVIVOR RED...Kym Stacey
TANGERINE TINGLE....Laurie Lynne Norton-Ringuette
TARTAN....Dave Howie
TEAL…Kristi Wright
TIGERS EYE....Hilary Metcalfe
TIMBERWOLF....Surina Hart
TURQUOISE......Joanne Williams
TURQUOISE BLUE.......Dianne Melendy
ULTRAMARINE BLUE.....Christine Garber
VELVET PLUM....Susie Holohan
VIBRANT ORANGE.....Sabiena Kalatzis (Beens)
VIOLET....Tricia Hartman
VIVACIOUS VIOLET.....Violet Platt
VIVID VIOLET....Shanyn Burnett

WE COLOUR OUTSIDE THE LINES.......!
AND YES...WE ARE FABULOUS....deal with it!....

40 THINGS WOMEN MUST HAVE BY AGE 40 

1. An old boyfriend who makes you smile with melancholy when you remember him and an old boyfriend who makes you proud about how far you've come.
 2. A piece of furniture that has never been previously owned by anyone in your family that you bought with your own money and makes you happy.
3. An outfit that makes you feel invincible if your future employer or man of your dreams calls to meet you in an hour.
4. A set of lingerie that you would not be ashamed to be seen in public wearing.
5. Atleast one scar on your heart where HE hurt you.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age -- and some money set aside to help fund it.
8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account -- all of which nobody has access to but you.
9. A dream so big it scares you.
10. Atleast One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a pair of totally unpractical shoes.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
13. The belief that you are worthy of treating yourself with respect.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, a push-up bra and a great pair of spankx
15. Atleast One recipe you cook amazing to impress the fussiest of guests
16. A place to go just to think where you can be completely alone with your thoughts.
17. Atleast one child who looks to you for guidance and advice...even if he or she isn't your own.
18. The knowledge on how to break-up with a man or confront a friend without losing your temper or your self respect.
19. Had atleast one lover who knew exactly how to touch you to make your toes curl, and how to express that desire to your next lovers.
20. Been kissed often by a man who knows how

21. The medical history that runs in your family so you can take care of YOU!
22. The ability to live on your own and not be dependant on anyone.
23. An outfit that feels like you are in a cocoon and safe from the world...its usually fleece or flannel
24. Let go of the hurts from your childhood and embraced the fact that your parents did the best they could with the skills they had
25. One secret that makes you smile.
26. A memory that makes you cringe....because those memories were lessons that brought you to here
27. A journal full of your deepest thoughts
28. A person you can call at 4 in the morning because you're in a bind
29. The knowledge of what you are willing to accept and what you are not in a relationship
30. Something you do thats just for you and no one else.
31. A piece of jewellery that has sentimental meaning
32. An older woman in your life who embodies the traits you wanna develop in your old age.
33. A spirituality that feeds your spirit
34. A soundtrack to your life that when you hear it on the radio you sing at the top of you lungs
35. Someone or something you LOVE with your whole heart
36. A to do list that never gets completely checked off 
37. Enough money to run away in case you have to
38. A purpose to rise out of bed every morning
39. The ability to look in a mirror and love the ripples and bumps and wrinkles that stare back at you....because you earned them all over time.
40. The understanding that 40 is not over the hill...its not even close to the hill!

Official LIST of CRAYONS of the World
as of June 11, 2012

RED....Wendle Beaton (Dub`ya)
BLACK.....Jacquie Carew (Jax)
YELLOW....Julie Ireland (Jewelz)
GOLD...Courtney Wallis Simpson (KaChing)
SUN....Judy Jinkinson Huxhold (Juxti)
AMETHYST....Susan Frampton
ANTIQUE BRASS....Ronan Schneiderovitch
AQUAMARINE.....Dale Day
AQUAROMA....Mary Pacitto
ATOMIC TANGERINE....Donna McMahon Hill
AZTEC GOLD...Sandeep Togarathi
AZURE....Carolyn Allen Dubois Kustec
AZURE BLUE....Dina Cox
BLACK SATIN....Nancy Bain
BLAZING BLUE.....Susan Spidle
BODACIOUS BLUE....Kerri Townsend Kelley
BRONZE....Susan Johnston
BROWN...Gurj Johal
BURGUNDY.....Karen Lowery
CAMMOFLAGE.......Manny Tesoro
CANDY APPLE RED.....Laura Bielak Avolese
CERISE-CHERRY RED....Heather Johannessen Belanger
CERULEAN....Adriana Vidal
COBALT....Cyndi Kleiwer Moyer
COPPER....J.D. Reed
COSMIC COBALT....Dianna Kusakovic
COTTON CANDY PINK....Stacey Betz
CORAL SKY......Lisa Page
COURAGEUS CORAL......Monica Francis
CREAM....Sandy Hines
CRIMSON....Caro Dorian
DEEP TRANCE GOLD.....Shirley Butler
DENIM......Lorraine Humphrey
EBONY...Christine Sylvestre
FIRE ENGINE RED......Ian Giffen
FIREY ROSE... Jeni Montgomery Hoover
FUCSHIA...Simone
GRAPE....Cherie Bazilsky Carriere
GREEN AQUAMARINE....Esmeralda Ruiz
GREEN...Tracey Green
GREEN DEPTH.....Anne Bizier
GUMBY GREEN WITH A HUE OF BLUE GOO...Brenda Baggs Wideman
HOT PINK....Connie Nicastro Hetherington
HOT MAGENTA...Susan Miller (Princess/Butterfly)
HOT TAMALE RED.....Mary Skrijelj
INDIAN RED....Irene Anastasakis
INDIGO....Christine Bizier
INDIGO NIGHTS....Mauela Berrien
JUNGLE GREEN....Suzana Correa
LIGHT BLUE…Tracey McFarlane McDonald
LILAC…Tasha “Fruit Loop” Blake
MAC & CHEESE...Charmaine Lintner
MAGENTA....Gia LoPatriello
MAUVELOUS.....Carrie Mels
MESMERIC MAGENTA....Carol Pamenter Morton
MOONSHINE....Samantha Gjuran
OCEAN BLUE....Kathy Freeman
OCEAN TEAL....Erin Bartley Paterson
ORANGE...Nikki Bloomfeild
OUTER SPACE....Jieye Yang
PANDEMONIUM PURPLE.....Renae Hayes
PASSIONATE PURPLE....Danielle Holt
PEACH…JoEllen Pollard
PERIWINKLE....Martha Cassotta
PURPINKLE.....Suz Furey
PHANTASMAGORIA....Bob Wright
PINK...Laurie GUGI...
PINK CHAMPAGNE....Michelle De Laere Burtt
PRETTY IN PINK...Nancy Cressey Hyson
PLATINUM....Rina Vas
PROSTITUE RED....Tara Monaco
PURPLE PIZAZZ…Litsa Lazaris
PURPLE....Tammy Bruce
PURPLE LILAC....Todd Osbourne
PURPLE LIME GREEN.....Charlene Bateman
PURPLE-LISCIOUS...Val Kustec
PURPLE SAGE......Dena Elliott
RASPBERRY BERET....Carol Bauza
RAZZMATAZZ....Vi Spencer
RED HOT CHILI....Diane Marie Cook
REVERE GRAY.....Pam Byer
ROYAL BLUE....Carolyn Lelliott Bizier
SAGE…Jenny Genovezos
SAILBOAT BLUE....Susan Heikens
SAPPHIRE BLUE......Pilar Gil
SCARLETT....Kim Hughes
SILVER MOON GLOW....Rhonda Diane Bignall
SIZZLING SCARLETT...Catherine Wallace
SKY BLUE....Solongo Asen
SPARKLING CHAMPAGNE.....Ginny Pyke
SUNSET....Elma Finnbogadottir
TANGERINE TINGLE....Laurie Lynne Norton-Ringuette
TARTAN....Dave Howie
TEAL…Kristi Wright
TIGERS EYE....Hilary Metcalfe
TIMBERWOLF....Surina Hart
TURQUOISE......Joanne Williams
TURQUOISE BLUE.......Dianne Melendy
VELVET PLUM....Susie Holohan
VIBRANT ORANGE.....Sabiena Kalatzis
VIOLET....Tricia Hartman
VIVID VIOLET....Shanyn Burnett

WE COLOUR OUTSIDE THE LINES.......!
AND YES...WE ARE FABULOUS....deal with it!....

THE CRAYON MANIFESTO

The CRAYON Manifesto

I am more than the size of the dress I wear. I am more than the amount of money in my bank account. I am not defined by my mistakes but I am empowered by them. I have obstacles in front of me and accomplishments in my wake. I am a student of life and learning lessons everyday. I have fears to conquer and wisdom to impart. I am part of the divine. I have dreams so big they scare me and thats exactly what they should do. I am a light in the world and no matter how small my flame, I still shine. I choose to live the length, width and circumference of this life I was given. I have known pain and heartbreak and they have srengthened my spirit to reach for the happiness that awaits me along my journey. I am fire and I am ice. I fall but refuse not to rise. I have an unbreakable spirit and a heart that never ceases to love no matter how scarred it becomes. I know that my life matters. I know I am creating a legacy with each choice I make. I am compassion and I am hope. I am exactly where I need to be at this very moment. I am beauty and I am grace. I never let a moment to say I LOVE YOU pass by. I have opened my heart to the world and bleed out the unending goodness within it. I am changing everyday and the girl who stands before you is not who I will be tomorrow. I am growing. I am unfurling my wings and preparing to take flight. I am a warrior. I am a goddess. I believe I am worthy and that I am divinely blessed. I am a survivor and I am a visionary. I know my greatest days are still in front of me. I am passion set ablaze. I am unstoppable. I am glorious, wonderful amazing ME.

WHY we are NOT COUGARS!

Who would have thought at this point in my life I would be stuck in COUGAR HELL!

As a forty something ex wife, mother of three and self described Alpha Female....I never thought I would be entering the world of dating and self reinvention at this phase of my life. How does one find themselves in this world of broken hearts and fall apart’s? Hell if I know!.......I just know I landed in the middle of this lovely car crash and am trying to navigate my way to the off ramp.

It amazes me how this world is so diverse. Full of bitter women looking to avenge a wrong from a bad marriage, women who have embraced this crazy life and gone all out nuts, women lost in the past ...stuck...and looking to reclaim it, and those of us thrust into the center ring squinting to see past the glare of the circus lights.

How I got here is another story, Instead I will begin this tale from the middle.

I hate that word ...COUGAR!!! I mean, why are we referred to as a predatory cat? And not even a cool cat...like a PUMA or a TIGER or a JAGUAR! No we are referred to as COUGARS, the cat that never makes the news unless its swilling a martini at Joes Bar off the 403.

A few crazy chain smoking, stiletto wearing, cocktail swilling man eaters have unceremoniously brought that term upon all of us and even though I am sitting here in my Manolos with cigarette in hand, I am offended by the term! But alas, that is the moniker of my new found peer group.

Before entering this circus tent of COUGARDOM, I remember sitting on my couch, hair unkempt, pyjamas my style of choice, eating Ben & Jerry's directly from the tub and feeling like life as I knew it was over!.....I had gone from a bicycle built for two to a unicycle and had no idea where the wheel fell off!.....

Now what do I to do? I did what every red blooded nice girl does, I called my best girlfriends and fell apart. They came to my aid with our favourite men Jack, Johnny, Jim and Jose, as in Daniels, Walker, Beam and Cuervo….. And we laughed and cried and somehow they made me get off the couch.

This is NOT an easy process..... The getting off the couch part can take days, weeks, months or in my case years. But once you make the move. Keep going. I swore I would never meet another man until hell froze over.....Seems the underworld is cooling off these days as I entered the world of dating again.

Luckily for me a few of my friends also had been thrust into this COUGAR HELL and I had a posse to protect me. We had a daunting task ahead of us! We had to let go of the Birkenstocks and embrace the Louboutins. We had to toss the eco friendly mommy bags full of juice boxes and Dora bandages for Prada and other highly over priced bags of the world. We had to squeeze our squishy bodies into the spanks underwear and find the bras

that would lift and separate our droopy girls!.....Once outfitted in proper attire we were ready to take on the dating jungle.

I am here to tell you, COUGARDOM is insanity on steroids! In entering the COUGAR dating scene, one who has never had the pleasure of this experience can not truly appreciate its level of spirit crushing, soul sucking and integrity reducing attributes. This world is full of men. Men of every background, age, race, mental deficiency and disorder.

My first foray into the realm was that of the online dating world. After creating my highly intelligent yet creatively witty profile complete with pictures. I was approached by all sectors of CRAZY!

I was asked out by twenty something’s who had COUGAR on their list of things to do. I was contacted by married men looking for some spice on the side. I was approached by playboys looking to add to their harem and every now and then the forty something ne'er do well who still lives at home with his mom and 3 cats.

Where were the good guys? Where were the men who also had their lives unceremoniously ripped out from under them and were trying to find wonderful again just like me?

Sadly, they were few and far between. It seems most of the divorced men who had the ability to put words together in interesting sentences lacked things such as honesty, faithfulness, humour, character, tact, intelligence, let alone the basics like teeth and jobs!

Don’t get me wrong, I am sure there are wonderful, lovely men out here in the murky waters of the dating pool....As the saying says...THERE ARE PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA! Unfortunately I have snagged many weeds and muck in my search.

Henceforth I am determined to change this COUGAR moniker..... I don’t believe it serves us well….it attracts what we are NOT. We are not the man eaters of our predecessors...we are Crayons...we are colourful...unique...highly creative and when put together we are a rainbow of WONDERFUL....

We are meant to explore and colour outside the lines…we are free spirits embracing a whole new world….So NO…we are NOT COUGARS….we are CRAYONS and proud to LIVE OUT LOUD in Technicolor!

CRAYONS OF THE WORLD

Official LIST of CRAYONS of the World

RED....Wendle Beaton (Dub`ya)
BLACK.....Jacquie Carew (Jax)
YELLOW....Julie Ireland (Jewelz)
GOLD...Courtney Wallis Simpson
AMETHYST....Susan Frampton
ANTIQUE BRASS....Ronan Schneiderovitch
AQUAMARINE.....Dale Day
AQUAROMA....Mary Pacitto
ATOMIC TANGERINE....Donna McMahon Hill
AZTEC GOLD...Sandeep Togarathi
AZURE....Carolyn Allen Dubois Kustec
AZURE BLUE....Dina Cox
BLAZING BLUE.....Susan Spidle
BODACIOUS BLUE....Kerri Townsend Kelley
BRONZE....Susan Johnston
BROWN...Gurj Johal
BURGUNDY.....Karen Lowery
CAMMOFLAGE.......Manny Tesoro
CANDY APPLE RED.....Laura Bielak Avolese
CERISE-CHERRY RED....Heather Johannessen Belanger
CERULEAN....Adriana Vidal
CFM RED....Susan Miller
COBALT....Cyndi Kleiwer Moyer
COPPER....J.D. Reed
COSMIC COBALT....Dianna Kusakovic
COTTON CANDY PINK....Stacey Betz
CORAL SKY......Lisa Page
CREAM....Sandy Hines
CRIMSON....Caro Dorian
DEEP TRANCE GOLD.....Shirley Butler
DENIM......Lorraine Humphrey
EBONY...Christine Sylvestre
FIREY ROSE... Jeni Montgomery Hoover
FUCSHIA...Simone
GREEN AQUAMARINE....Esmeralda Ruiz
GREEN...Tracey Green
GREEN DEPTH.....Anne Bizier
GUMBY GREEN WITH A HUE OF BLUE GOO...Brenda Baggs Wideman
HOT PINK....Connie Nicastro Hetherington
HOT MAGENTA...Susan Miller
HOT TAMALE RED.....Mary Skrijelj
INDIAN RED....Irene Anastasakis
INDIGO....Christine Bizier
INDIGO NIGHTS....Mauela Berrien
JUNGLE GREEN....Suzana Correa
LIGHT BLUE…Tracey McFarlane McDonald
LILAC…Tasha “Fruit Loop” Blake
MAC & CHEESE...Charmaine Lintner
MAGENTA....Gia LoPatriello
MAUVELOUS.....Carrie Mels
MESMERIC MAGENTA....Carol Pamenter Morton
MOONSHINE....Samantha Gjuran
OCEAN BLUE....Kathy Freeman
OCEAN TEAL....Erin Bartley Paterson
ORANGE...Nikki Bloomfeild
OUTER SPACE....Jieye Yang
PANDEMONIUM PURPLE.....Renae Hayes
PASSIONATE PURPLE....Danielle Holt
PEACH…JoEllen Pollard
PERIWINKLE....Martha Cassotta
PHANTASMAGORIA....Bob Wright
PINK...Laurie GUGI...
PINK CHAMPAGNE....Michelle De Laere Burtt
PRETTY IN PINK...Nancy Cressey Hyson
PLATINUM....Rina Vas
PROSTITUE RED....Tara Monaco
PURPLE PIZAZZ…Litsa Lazaris
PURPLE....Tammy Bruce
PURPLE LILAC....Todd Osbourne
PURPLE LIME GREEN.....Charlene Bateman
PURPLE-LISCIOUS...Val Kustec
RASPBERRY BERET....Carol Bauza
RAZZMATAZZ....Vi Spencer
RED HOT CHILI....Diane Marie Cook
ROYAL BLUE....Carolyn Lelliott Bizier
SAGE…Jenny Genovezos
SAPPHIRE BLUE......Pilar Gil
SCARLETT....Kim Hughes
SILVER MOON GLOW....Rhonda Diane Bignall
SIZZLING SCARLETT...Catherine Wallace
SKY BLUE....Solongo Asen
SPARKLING CHAMPAGNE.....Ginny Pyke
SPARKLING ORANGE....Judy Jinkinson Huxhold
SUNSET....Elma Finnbogadottir
TANGERINE TINGLE....Laurie Lynne Norton-Ringuette
TARTAN....Dave Howie
TEAL…Kristi Wright
TIGERS EYE....Hilary Metcalfe
TIMBERWOLF....Surina Hart
TURQUOISE BLUE.......Dianne Melendy
VELVET PLUM....Susie Holohan
VIBRANT ORANGE.....Sabiena Kalatzis
VIOLET....Tricia Hartman

WE COLOUR OUTSIDE THE LINES.......!
AND YES...WE ARE FABULOUS....deal with it!....

When A Woman Says:

WHEN A WOMAN SAYS:

1. FINE : this is a word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut the F*ck up.

2. FIVE MINUTES : if she is getting dressed, this means half an hour, five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping out around the house.

3. NOTHING : this is the calm before the storm, this means something and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end with fine.

4. GO AHEAD : this is a dare, it is not permission. SO...Don't DO it!!!

5. LOUD SIGH : this is actually a word, but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means shes thinking your an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing around arguing with you about nothing (refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing)

6. THAT'S OKAY : this is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man, "thats okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when your going to pay for your mistake.

7. THANKS : a woman is thanking you, do not question it or faint, just say you're welcome

8. WHATEVER : is a womens way of saying F*CK YOU!!!

9. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT : another dangerous statement, meaning this is something a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself, this will later result in a man asking "WHAT'S WRONG" (for womens response refer to #3)

**Hope this is helpful to all u guys that have a hard time understanding women!!**